Bavaria meets the Mighty Ducks
by DolphyKaeera
Summary: Be prepared for the biggest,funniest and most chaotic culture clash when the Ducks travel to "exotic" Germany...


DISCLAIMER: We own nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all! We just write this silly stuff.  
  
CULTURE CLASH! Beware....we, Dolphy and Kaeera teamed up, will send our fave ducks into the wilderness of Germany. Be prepared when they face the Bavarian Culture and have to live through all stereotypes the people have from Germany. Ready?  
  
A humorous story to relax^^  
  
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Bavaria, meet the Mighty Ducks!  
  
Written by: Kaeera & Dolphy  
  
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"WHAAAT?", the team stared at their manager. Phil Palmfeather just laughed and raised his arms. "It's a great publicity stunt. People will love you!"  
  
"But why didn't you ask us about this???", Wildwing yelled angrily.  
  
"Hey, boobie, I'm your manager." he grinned and brushed through his hair. "That's my job."  
  
Mallory rolled her eyes. "Yeah, whatever. Anyway, what if we don't want to travel through the whole world?"  
  
"But..." Phil's face fell. "I arranged everything. Come on guys, it's supposed to be a nice country, and certainly the city is beautiful..."  
  
"But Germany is on the other side of the world!", Wildwing exclaimed. He exchanged a quick look with the other team-members, knowing what they were thinking. If they went away, Dragaunus would have many opportunities to destroy things and to do....stuff. Whatever saurians did. Ya know, the usual routine. Killing, slaving people, nothing extraordinary.  
  
Nosedive rubbed his chin. "So, Phil, you could at least tell us a little bit more about this city....Munich was the name?"  
  
"Exactly." Phil beamed. "You will have to play against the national ice hockey team of Germany. You will become famous on the whole world! International! The Germans will LOVE you....and all the money we can make." His eyes changed to little hearts as he thought of the many possibilities. The ducks sweatdropped.  
  
"Uhm....Earth to Phil....", Duke made and poked the man.  
  
"Phil! What can we do in Munich?", Nosedive wanted to know. "Anything interesting there?"  
  
Phil came back from his trip and stared at Nosedive, searching for some information in his head which could interest the teen - and convince him thatstaying in Bavaria, Germany, was a good idea.  
  
"There's some thing called 'October Festival'.", he offered.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"Uhh....people drink masses of beer?", Phil scratched his head. All he knew about this certain festival was that it involved beer, many Germans wearing dirndl and leather trousers, beer, attractions, beer, good food, beer, 'WeiÃŸwurstfrÃ¼hstÃ¼ck' and, of course, beer.  
  
"Great! I'm in!", Nosedive beamed and received a glare of his brother. "What?", he asked innocently.  
  
"It sounds quite interesting." Tanya threw in. "I mean, it would be interesting to meet another culture that the American. I've read quite a few things about Germany - it's an interesting country with a long history."  
  
"A history which includes starting two wars and killing thousands of people.", Duke muttered. "They say that many people there are Nazis....what will they say about alien ducks?"  
  
"Never judge people by their past.", Grin commented, throwing a meaningful glance at Duke. "Look into their hearts. There are good ducks and bad ducks, good human beings and bad ones."  
  
"And Phil." Nosedive added. "He needs an extra class."  
  
"You are right, my young friend.", Grin continued. "I don't think that the Germans are bad. They aren't good either. They are like you and me. I would like to meet their spirits."  
  
Duke frowned. "Yeah. Whatever. Do what you want."  
  
Wing scratched his head. "Germany, eh?"  
  
"We don't even speak the language...", Duke pointed out.  
  
"Ah well.", Nosedive waved. "We just jump up and down, making noises like 'Habba Habba', then the people will notice that we are hungry. And if we search a toilet, we just do this special dance..." He showed the dance to his teammates. Well, dance would be exaggerated. It more consisted of 'jumping around, holding the hands to a very private place and having an extremely stressed look in the face'.  
  
The Mighty Ducks sweatdropped. "I bet he ate too much sugar again." Mallory muttered to Wildwing, who nodded sadly. "I was too late.", he told her. "He had gulped down a can of coffee with masses of sugar before I could stop him."  
  
Nosedive had now found of the pleasantry of dancing and started imitating Michael Jackson. "Oi! Oi! Oi!", he made.  
  
Grin turned around. "I sense a troubled spirit out there...."  
  
"Oh, really?", muttered Duke. "The only thing I sense is a crazy teen. Crap."  
  
"I sense....", Mallory sniffed. "It sense that something is burning."  
  
"My pizza!" Tanya shouted and speeded out of the room.  
  
"Okay, it's settled then!", Phil was satisfied. "Germany. Yeah.", he walked out of the room and left a very bewildered Wildwing behind.  
  
"Trouble I can sense you." He pulled a face. Nosedive bounced into a wall. Wildwing's shoulders slumped. "Trouble's already here...."  
  
**********  
  
The rest of the day was (relatively) silent. Mallory closed Nosedive in his room because he had put a three week old, half-eaten pizza in her bed. Nosedive fled through the air conditioning tunnels and surprised a hard working Tanya in her lab, when she was trying to fix Drake 1(minor miscalculations). The result was that she accidentally pressed the wrong buttons.  
  
Now Drake 1 spoke only French AND acted a little bit weird, which caused another problems....nobody understood sentences like 'Vive la France' or 'Je suis une petite baguette, non, madame, je ne suis pas une ordinateur.'(I'm a small baguette, no, madame, I'm not a computer)  
  
Phil had discovered a new hairstylist and was now walking around, asking every victim he could see which haircut would make him even look better. The ducks decided to dumb him into the closet until the plane left the day after tomorrow.  
  
Wildwing bought a German dictionary, hoping that he wouldn't be totally lost in a different country with a different language. However, he gave up when he tried to pronounce: 'Wir sind Enten und haben SchnÃ¤bel', (We are ducks and have beaks ).  
  
Grin took a look into the dictionary himself, and found, listed under culinary specialties, meals like 'Sauerkraut', 'Schweinebraten' and 'WeiÃŸwÃ¼rste'. He quickly decided that MdDonald's probably wasn't that bad - there he could pronounce the meals without causing the others to roll on the floor of laughter.  
  
Nosedive then started to eat the old pizza which he had put into Mallory's bed, while the redhaired duck was looking into the latest fashion magazines, searching frantically for a trend called 'dirndl'.  
  
Tanya gave up on Drake 1 when he asked her for the third time if there was any wine left, and started packing her things.  
  
Nosedive could be found in the toilet, vomiting, but insisting that it hadn't been the pizza. Mallory gave up her search on the dirndl, and Wildwing had thrown the dictionary away. Grin was meditating.  
  
And Phil...had found out that his cell phone worked in the closet and was now phoning with some important people in Germany, making arrangement for the ducks. One of them included 'Interview at the October Festival'....  
  
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The next day:  
  
Mallory had occasionally found a catalogue with Bavarian dresses and sat looking through it in the living-room while Duke was reading a newspaper.She suddenly started to laugh almost hysterically.  
  
"What's going on, sweetheart?" asked Duke curiously.  
  
Mal showed him a page of the catalogue and pointed to a grey felt hat and some dark olive leather trousers.  
  
"I've just imagined you wearing that stuff!" laughed the red-haired duck.  
  
"Very funny!" said Duke somehow feeling a little bit insulted.  
  
"You would look so stupid!" mocked Mallory.  
  
"Love you,too." was Duke's sarcastic reaction.  
  
The door went open and the youngest teammeber came in.  
  
"Servus!" shouted Nosedive.  
  
"What?" asked Duke and Mallory at the same moment.  
  
"It's Bavarian for Â´Hi!Â´." he responded.  
  
"Since when can you speak Bavarian?"  
  
"I`ve done something useful with my computer and searched the Web for a dictionnary-"  
  
"-and now he`s speaking Benglish incessantly." interrupted Wildwing who just went in the living room.  
  
"Benglish?" asked Duke.  
  
"Yeah,a combination of Bavarian and English which sounds awful!" answered Wing.  
  
"It doesn't sound that terrible,groÃŸa Bruada (big brother)!"  
  
The other ducks looked at him confused and the leader sighed.  
  
"Do you know what I mean?"  
  
The others nodded.  
  
"Schaut's mi net so o (Don`t look at me) as if I`m crazy!"  
  
"You not being crazy would be something totally new." said Mallory grinning.  
  
"Hey!....Well,if I`m really so crazy then I werd dei Zahnpasta mit a Senf- Tubn vertauscha." (I'll exchange your toothpaste with a mustard-tube.)  
  
"What will you do?"  
  
"Nothing,girly-girl."  
  
"Nosedive,WHAT have you said!?"  
  
"Nothing."  
  
"Tell me!!!"  
  
"Tell you!?Maybe I'm crazy but I'm not THAT crazy!" laughed Dive.  
  
Mallory was really angry now and turned to her teammates expecting help but she only saw them being slightly amused.  
  
"Wildwing,do something,he's YOUR brother!It's obvious that he's making fun of us, me in particular!"  
  
"And what should I do against it?" asked the teamleader,not meaning the question serious.  
  
"Don't know...taking away his computer?" suggested Mal.  
  
"Nooo!" yelled Nosedive. "Send me to a Saurian-school,give me nothing to eat for two weeks,let Phil play hockey instead of me but please...DON`t take my computer away!"  
  
He went to his older brother and gave him the Â´sad puppyÂ´-look.  
  
"You won't do that,will you...Wingy?"  
  
"Don't give in,Wildwing!" interrupted Mallory.  
  
"Aww,I can't punish him when he's looking so cute." sighed the white duck smiling a bit.  
  
The red-head stormed to the door with her fists balled.  
  
"What are you gonna do,Mal?" asked Wildwing.  
  
She stopped at the door and turned around,an evil look in her eyes :  
  
"I`ll search a Bavarian-English dictionnary and find out what Nosedive has said..." and left the room.  
  
Dive gulped.  
  
"Ah,oh..."  
  
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In the evening:  
  
Dive had stopped talking Â´BenglishÂ´ after Mallory had hunted him through the whole headquarters (and caught him).But fortunately the bruises didn`t hurt anymore.Phil was even more nervous than usual and made one phone call after another.He couldn't trust his eyes when he saw the team watching TV realxing in the living-room.  
  
"Guys!I can't understand how you can be this calm!We`ll fly to Bavaria tomorrow and you`re sitting here doing nothing!" he shouted.  
  
The Ducks just looked at him quickly and then turned back to the TV, except Wildwing.  
  
"Don't worry,Phil.We`re prepared for the journey.Everybody has packed his stuff...Well,except one certain duck..."  
  
"Hey,big bro,I've told ya that I can pack my clothes in record time so don't rush me."  
  
"I know you,Dive,and I`m sure you'll be totally stressed tomorrow in the morning 'cause you won't have enough time for packing so please do it today."  
  
"Yeah,yeah,I`ll do it after the movie..." Nosedive muttered annoyed.He wanted to change the subject.  
  
"Hey Philly,where will we live at all?"  
  
"In a hotel called "Bayerischer Hof".It`s very noble and expensive,even Michael Jackson has lived there for some days.Only the best for popular guests like you."  
  
"Cool,...but I won't sleep in Jackson's room!Maybe he has lost parts of his body and his nose lies on the floor...Eeewww!" Nosedive shrieked and shook himself.  
  
The others just rolled their eyes again.  
  
"Okay,boobies,I go home now.We`ll meet at the airport tomorrow, don't forget,the plane will start at 10 o`clock.Bye!"  
  
"  
  
Bye,Phil!" chorused the group.  
  
After he was out of the room the ducks drew a deep breath.  
  
"Thank Stars, he's finally gone!" sighed Mallory relieved.  
  
"Yeah, he can really get on one`s nerves when he`s nervous...or happy or in bad mood or bored or greedy for money or..." agredd Duke.  
  
"Got your point." grinned Mal.  
  
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***********************  
  
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Next day, in the morning :  
  
"DIVE! Wake up!" yelled a voice from outside his room so Nosedive amost fell out of his bed.  
  
"What's the matter,Wing?" he asked while stumbling over the mess in the dark room.  
  
"We have overslept, hurry up, we'll wait for you in the Migrator." said Wildwing a bit panicking. "I hope you've packed your stuff as I told youyesterday." he added and left for the Migrator.  
  
"Oh,sh..." was all Nosedive could say and began throwing clothes and comics quickly into his case.Short time later he arrived at the Migarator and noticed that everyone was looking at him.  
  
"What?" he asked insecurely.  
  
"Erm,Dive,don`t you want to put on something...different?" suggested his brother.  
  
"Why?"  
  
He looked down at himself and realized only now that he was still wearing his pyjamas. He blushed and ran back to his room.  
  
"Just a minute!" he shouted from the hallway.  
  
After Nosedive had changed his clothes the team was ready for leaving the Pond.But they returned sooner than expected Â´cause Mallory had forgotten her second case.They arrived at the airport totally out of breath ten minutes before the take-off and met their panicing and yelling manager who was hysterically pointing to his watch.It was a huge chaos but they had managed to catch their plane and were on the way to Germany.  
  
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To be continued.... 


End file.
